Been forever since I put as few keystrokes to screen here.

in true holiday tradition I am rather depressed, a fact I didn't fully realize until I was looking at the last slice of a large pizza I ordered today (and planed to be my normal 2 and a 1/2 day meal allowance)

I still have a job ... I hope, actually no I have more job security now than I have had in years. Well not that I am really confidant in my job, but I know that I would have to screw up pretty bad to be let go, and "security" is a pretty recession proof business cause as one client tole me a couple months ago " I have to have this working by Friday, I leave to go out of town and there are people in my neighborhood!"

I have been reading a lot lately right now just a series of stupid fiction novels, but for a dyslexic guy to crank out a book in less than a week; I'll take that as a point of pride.

The dog is healthy (as much as a shar-pei can be) happy (as much as a shar-pei can be) and gassy (more so than a shar-pei should be) she still makes me laugh all the time, but I have to admit I have been thinking about getting a second dog for a few weeks. So the first thing you (and everyone that I have mentioned this to) will say is what about New York, moving one dog will be near impossible two will be out of the question. I know this, and even knowing that I am still a little torn, if I get a dog then I am more/less "giving up" on New York. But man I would love to have another big dumb tard like Georgie, or another stoic protector like Guido, or some new personality type that will challenge, infuriate and inspire me.

I STILL have yet to dig myself out of the debt I built up from when I was unemployed almost 2 years ago. I do good for a few months making steady payments, and then "life happens" for as many months; sigh it just weighs heavy on me.

Also I'm fat, I can't seem to find my motivation to change that, I was doing good for a while last year then stopped. I keep thinking that if I spend money I didn't have on a gym I would do more, but honestly floor is free and I haven't done a push-up in months.

I hate this time of year, I have for most all of my life.

Major address book update in progress Please e-mail me your contact info even if you *know* I have it. chuque@ina.tp thx

I have not posted here in a long time, it is so much harder to think in (mostly) complete thoughts and write them down in complete sentences. Twitter is far more my speed where I can just say "poop smells like poop" and satisfy my need to blog.

What have I been up to? the daily grind; going to work, not liking my job, trying to pay off debt and not spend any money I don't "have too" ....

That's it that has been me for the last several months. So what changed why I am posting something here now?

My mom, she is coming! to visit me! I am not so sure I am ok with this, but am not so against it I feel the need to fly to Canada ... yet. So assuming I don't freak out and flee the country, I gotta figure out shit to do with her. I have no idea what to do. I don't really know what she likes or is into or anything. I guess I need to ask her this stuff. but that means another phone call, and I just talked to here like 2 or 3 weeks ago.
.. ugh ....

so any locals with mom ideas?

I went home early last night cause I felt "Off" and then about 5 am I learned why, when I woke up after 2 hrs sleep because I couldn't breathe and my sinuses were all angry.

I would have called in sick today, but I knew that I was alone and didn't want to put anyone out, so I am here, miserable.

I hemmed and hawed for a full week, but I just sent my resume to a solid job lead in New York today. So maybe I'll be interviewing there soon.

It is crappy cold sleety weather like this that make me both look forward to and dread moving up north

at the office as of late.

My assignment load has at least tripled in the last two weeks, and while I am doing my best to keep all the balls in the air and complete everything, where I was being told good job, fast work etc, you know very generic but nice to hear none the less. I am now being told well if that is the best you can do, and I guess that is good enough. To top that off there was a push to change my schl and I pushed back offered alternatives etc, and was more less told to shut up and work it. One of the (former) advantages of my job is I could easily take public trans to work. When I worked third shift I would take one of the last buses to work and one of the first home. and now on second I take one of the last home. it works out very nicely, However now they have me working 6pm-2am and the buses here stop running more/less midnight.

Now I know I have been meaning to get a (working) bike and bike to work for several weeks now. but as those of you that know me know that feeling forced into a course of action is the best way to get me to not follow through. So now instead of being excited about getting a bike I feel forced and bitter overall.

not to mention that working 6pm-2am means that I can not go out with bartley to dinner before work like I did. or out for drinks with dirtyunclerod like I do now. I am going to NYC at the end of the month, and on the advice of friends I am not doing anything dumb (which is very much out of character for me) and just sucking it up till I get back and then threaten to quit and/or take a dump on my bosses desk.

this is me booking my trip on the wagon till Halloween. It had little to with self control, a little to do with self image, a lot to do with weight gain, and a basket of other reasons. So if you see me out and about please don't take offense and know we'll have that drink ... in a few weeks.

The number one down side to my new schedule is I miss bartley...

I haven't been reporting and I haven't really been putting any effort into my weight management the last several weeks. To be honest after I hurt my back on my birthday it all stopped being fun. However I had noticed that my jeans are fitting awfully lose the last few days, so today I braved the reality of the scale and it said 261 ... so some how I have lost another 5 lbs from the point I stopped caring. (and apparently all of it in my ass) Go me! I guess this means I am re-starting 100 push ups today, and see if I can keep at it this time.

I am not sure how this happened but somehow I gained 12 hours today. So Thursday I went to take a nap at 8 pm for an hour and half before I went out, and remember looking at the clock at some point and it saying 12:00 so I was all well guess I over slept might as well keep oversleeping. I then wake up at what I thought was 11 am. did some house work and went back to bed at 5 to take a 2 hour nap before I went out Friday night at 9 pm. I woke up at 6pm and then meatpie tells me that it is 7:30 AM! .... WTF! well I guess this means I need breakfast tacos

I haven't had much to report. I am still working, paying bills (except I forgot to pay rent till today; that late fee will teach me but good!) attempting to pay off people I owe money to, if you re on the list don't worry I'll get to you .. eventually.

Some news on the job front, not sure if it is good or bad. I'll be moving to 2nd shift next week. So the good news is I'll be able to go out and enjoy life more. the bad news is I'll be able to go out and spend money enjoying life. Also this just makes me like my job a little bit more making it that much harder for me to continue to look for a new job. I think last week I sent out all of 2 resumes.

The dog is still a mess, tho she has grown back a lot of coat so looks less like a fall out victim I answered a craigslist ad regarding a woman wanting to re-home her Neapolitan Mastiff but thankfully I came to my senses and didn't pull the trigger on that. I really miss my big lug, and I really like having a pack of dogs. but now is not the time to take on more responsibility and expense.

I am not happy. I don't know why, I stopped watching what I eat and haven't really exercised since I hurt my back 2 weeks ago. I need to fix that. but I lack motivation. I should be happy with what I have and where I am at, happy but striving for better. Right that's how Americans are suppose to be right? I am not, I don't like where I am have no idea where I want to go, or a clue on how to get there. I am starting to understand those guys that get married and have their wives make all the choices it's not that they are spineless they are just unaware of what they want. I lack focus? is that what it is? I don't know anymore, and sadly it seems I care less a bit more every day. as it stands by the time I get everyone paid off, I may just move and reinvent myself maybe if I don't have a past I can have a future? ... shrug this got far to self introspective for LJ, so I am just going to stop now.

I did something to my back on Wednesday, and here it is Saturday and it is still hurting. because of this I have punked out on doing push-ups the last several days. Maybe tomorrow but today I just want to lay down.

I had a great time last night with my friends We drank, we laughed, and the coolest amongst our group wore hats!

and then I came home all drunkly and then ( this ...  )

After yesterdays technical failure, I decided to redo day # on the 100 push-up chart. I must say the human body is a strange sack of water and goo. I Won't say I breezed through it as it was work and there was grunting, but I did it in the set/times listed. So I celebrate ? sure ... with a breakfast taco :( I am a week week man I am.

In other non-pushing on the carpet news I went shopping and think I got almost two weeks worth of grub for 40 bucks ... please don't ask what I am eating for the next two weeks it is mildly embarrassing.

I have a fucking Saturday off, and I work 2pm-10pm Sunday then back to 10pm-6am Monday so yeah for all intents I have a weekend off and no plans this I feel calls for some serious drinking. Last weekend was fun and all but man nothing ruins a great drunk like a responsibility late with a double shot of adrenaline (wow a coffee reference from me who woulda thought)

(PS. pie if you apologize I will punch you ... hard )

Most of you know I tend to avoid web comics.
( but this made me chuckle )

.... yet

100 push-ups day 3 just about killed me, the last 3 sets got broken up into about 7 sets my only saving grace is I wasn't taking a full 2 minutes tween sets. I don't think I am anywhere near ready to move on to week two and will most likely repeat day 3 2 or 3 more times. was this a memberably hard day for anyone else?

Today has been about extremes for some reason. I ate more than normal even after the bloat fest that was this weekend. I slept more than normal (had to fight to stay awake at work and failed a few times)

seems like half the world is on the 100 push-up plan ... wonder how many will be on it after 2 weeks :)

I finished up "day two" bumped from the middle to high level for the increased challenge ... and it was.

I didn't go quite to exhaustion today, but with in a couple. I think I will be ok until week 4 I hope by then I actually grow a little stamina

Today I took out my old tiny A/C unit from my kitchen window as I haven't used it in days even with the temp over 100. This allowed me to better black out that window. As a result my room is now less than one or two lums of light, Ahh, I almost can't wait to go to sleep today in near total darkness.